How Leaving Facebook Groups Accelerated My Business and Saved My Sanity
They say you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with. This holds true both in real life folks and all those folks on the internet.
When I first started my business I was clueless on what an online business actually entailed. Honestly, when I first started I didn't know Facebook groups even existed except for 'swap meet' style groups. I remember the first group I asked to join. It was one late winter night and I was beaming with excitement when “so and so” approved me. I WAS APPROVED! This person I've seen on the fancy-schmancy website approved me!!! "OMG this is it! My business is about to go viral! I. WAS. APPROVED." It was a euphoric feeling like I had been asked to be a member of the cool kids group.
Ok, now what?
To post a question or not to post a question ...that is the question!
I scrolled through to see all these people just ROCKING it, They were making hand over fist, six figures,
"YESSSS I am going to be a millionaire ...ok, I am joining that girl's group, too! She is awesome."
"Oh wait! This other girl has group, too! I have to join that one, too. YAY she approved me!!!"
"This other girl is clearly taking names and dollars -- I need to be that group as well."
Request to JOIN, Request to JOIN, Request to JOIN...you get the picture I was obsessed with Facebook groups.
I thought, "I will never be successful if I'm not in that group or that group and don't forget THAT GROUP!!!"
Then the scrolling began. The endless scrolling and clicking on people's Facebook pages. I HAD to see what business they were running and check out their website. "Oh man, I don't have a 'Let's Chat Now' box on my site, that must be the reason I'm not getting any sales. She does and she knows ALL things business."
Then my first time posting a question. Seriously, this Facebook group virgin was just about to be deflowered. I posted my question and thought, "OMG I'm so nervous, I hope people answer, I hope people like me."
*Ding* FB notification!!! "EEEK I am so excited to have all the knowledge and love adorn me in the comments."
...but that didn't happen. AT ALL.
Their response? "I don't understand what crappy lemons mean on your website” ...ummm wait...what...that wasn't my question.
10 comments and 2 hours later I am still explaining what I do. My question has still not been answered.
My conclusion? Clearly, everyone in this group HATES me. Maybe my business isn't a good idea. I decided to keep scrolling to see what others were doing.
I ignored the quiet voice inside screaming: "so AUBREY ...when is the last time you have WORKED on YOUR business"
Let's be real...I didn't just ignore it. I justified my Facebook scrolling with, "SHUT UP subconscious I am supposed to be in Facebook groups in order to grow and be successful!"
Maybe I needed to find a new group
I decided I would try again and ask a question BUT I would do it in a different group. I was so nervous! *Ding* FB notification... AND ITS FROM THE HOST OF THE GROUP!! "OMG puhlease for the love of the world, let her be nice. WAIT. WHAT she answered my question annnnnd asked if I would like to chat more about the problem. No pitching....she cares about me, she really cares about me. Ok! I am staying in her group! Man, these ladies are so helpful!"
Meanwhile I scroll back through the other groups STILL comparing myself and my business. ( so AUBREY … when is the last time you have WORKED on YOUR business ) ( man, when is the last time I did something FOR my BUSINESS) You know, I have a business, I AM a business WOMAN, I have a mission and goals ,what happened? I got distracted by the folks who I do not want to be the sum of . DISTRACTION is the reason I might fail not because I wasn't in the cool facebook group. I was going insane trying to figure out what everyone else was doing in their business that I was not giving myself a chance to grow my own business.
So I started to get out of facebook groups
I went through and found the ones that made me and business better. Amazing how once I spent time working on my business, everyday it grew bigger and bigger. Now, I have my OWN Facebook group where I am surrounded with the people I want to be around. Just like our in real life friends, we have to be selective with who we surround ourselves with in the online world.
If you're feeling overwhelmed with Facebook groups, try these two things:
(1) Find the Facebook groups that help you thrive and become a better business person... rather than feel 'less-than.'
(2) Evaluate where you are and where you are spending your time. If you spend more hours in Facebook groups than you are working on your business... you might not see the growth you want. I didn’t.
I have experienced more growth over the past 6 months in my business then I did the whole first year of business because I STARTED MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS!!!
You are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with CHOOSE WISELY!
Aubrey Mathis // Owner of Today May Suck
Aubrey Mathis is The overly caffeinated Mom of 2 beautiful girls Wife to Robert, who just happens to be a Professional rodeo cowboy and owner of Today May Suck a Comfort Gift company for your peeps going through the suckiest of times.