141_ How to say no to a speaking opportunity (ft_ Aleia Walker)

When a speaking request lands in my inbox, I get so excited. I'm honored I was even considered to be a part of the event and I'm already envisioning how I'm going to show up and serve that audience to the best of my ability.

How do you feel when a speaking request hits your inbox but it's not a good fit? Are you nervous? Are you anxious? Are you worried about how you're going to turn this down without burning bridges for the future?

On this week's episode of The Speak to Scale Podcast we're having a tough conversation about how to say no to speaking opportunities that don't align with your business. Because if an opportunity doesn't align with your business or your values, trust me, you're going to want to say no.

I've brought Aleia Walker (who we've had on the show before) back to the show this week to have a tough conversation about what saying no should like and how we can do a better job as speakers when we're turning down speaking opportunities.

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Resources mentioned in this episode:

Join the Free Speak to Scale Community
Aleia Walker - Mojito Marketing Agency
The Hill Creatives - a directory for Black Creatives
Aleia Walker's The Speakeasy - a community for intentional marketing

Meet Aleia Walker

Aleia is an email marketing copywriter who helps business owners eager to scale and live in their zone of genius.

Five years ago, she left her corporate job to start a career as a freelance web developer. Pretty soon she rediscovered her love of writing by crafting single emails that resulted in 4 and 5 figures in revenue. First, she wrote those for herself, and then for freelance clients and startups. She relies on her Creative Writing degree and love of metrics to develop data-backed marketing strategies that result in higher profits without the stress of an on/off, always hustling launch cycle. To her, it’s worth it to build (and enjoy!) your dream business and your dream life, right now!

When she’s not knee-deep in spreadsheets, Airtable, or Google Analytics, she’s probably talking herself out of buying plant number 38 (who am I kidding, she’s probably already bought it) or sipping a single barrel 14-year old rum.

Introducing: The Roundtables

Aleia knew she wanted to do something big for The Hill Creatives. She wanted to get more people involved in the conversations that were happening behind the scenes because "It's not until we sit down and actually have the conversations with people do we actually see things change. I wanted a space to do that" said Aleia. This is how the summit was born.

With such a specific mission (to host open-honest conversations about diversity and inclusion among small business owners) Aleia had to ensure she was inviting the right speakers to partner with her for this event. The most important detail was to ensure they were maintaining a safe space for everyone involved.

Aleia sough out panelists who were either creatives, other people of color, or they were allies who had stood up and said that black lives matter. It was important that she invited people who had already had these conversations, had a point of view formulated, and their audience was used to it use of them speaking out.

Unlike most virtual summits, the format for the roundtables was a bit different. The structure was more of a panel/townhall-type feel. These were open conversations on specific topics. Aleia needed to also consider personality types and how individuals would interact together on those panels. She looked for speakers who would be comfortable speaking up and sharing their perspectives but who wouldn't talk over others.

The Wrong Way to Say No

Aleia saw just how important these conversations were when she started connecting with potential speakers. She expected that speakers would be receptive to the roundtables. Why? Because she was only reaching out to people who had publicly expressed interest in having these conversations.

Instead of being embraced by a list of speakers who were eager and excited to be a part of these conversations, she was met with resistance. Some speakers were worried that they were not the right fit for the event and deferred to others. What really struck Aleia was when potential speakers began telling Aleia that this was not the right format to host an event like this and even going as far as suggesting, "There needed to be someone with more melanin to have some of these conversations."

Aleia was shocked. These were individuals she was certain were committed to creating change in our industry. As the emails started coming in, the light was shed on a bigger problem. Some speakers seemed to only be committed to creating change when they (or someone they preferred) were the ones leading the conversation.

Our Role as Speakers

As speakers, it is not our job to tell an organizer how to run their event. If we are being asked to speak at a function that does not feel like a good fit or is not in alignment with our values - it's perfectly acceptable to simply say 'no, thank you.'

Not sure what to say when you know you don't want to say yes? Aleia says, "Don't send it right away." Give yourself space to sit with your emotions and respond with a clear head.

Turning down a speaking opportunity does not require a lengthy explanation or paragraphs with your thoughts to the host. If you're feeling the need to share that much information, you may want to consider scheduling a phone call with the host so that things don't get lost in translation via email.

Things to consider before you accept a speaking request

When Aleia receives a speaking request, some of the most important questions she is asking herself are:

Am I a last-minute invite simply filling a quota?
Who are the other speakers and are our values in alignment?
What will be required of me as the speaker?

Based on the answers to those questions, she'll have a better idea of how to respond to the opportunity with confidence

If the opportunity is not a good fit, Aleia doesn't waste her time overcomplicating her response and suggests you do the same. She keeps her response short and simple and moves on to the next opportunity that is a better fit. Need some ideas for how to respond to a speaking opportunity that is not in alignment with your business? Here you go:

"Thanks for thinking of me for this opportunity. Unfortunately, I can't commit to that right but wish you the best of luck with your event. Here are a few suggestions for other speakers who may be available..."

Want to learn more about Aleia, Speakeasy, or the Hill Creatives? Give her a follow over on Instagram and tell her how much you loved this episode.

If you're not already a member of the academy, we'd love to invite you to apply to join The Speaking Strategy Academy. You'll get instant access to our A-Z speaking training system with video lessons, transcripts, scripts, templates, and more.... access to our live group coaching calls, personalized 1:1 feedback on your work from me, and an opportunity to present your work live in front of our community for hot seat coaching and feedback. What are you waiting for, friend? Apply today!

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